During co-parenting, the father and the mother share equal responsibility together for the socialization, care, wellbeing, and upbringing of children. Co-parenting counseling aims to create a synergy in responsibility between the parents while they grow their children. The purpose of co-parenting is to elevate parenting relationships by reducing conflict and improving communication and collaboration. It aims to improve and protect the overall wellbeing of your children.
Healthy Co-Parenting with Amicability
You as a parent along with your ex must be actively involved in the daily activities and day-to-day life of your child. You must communicate amicably in front of the kid or when the kid around. Encourage your kid to have a warm relationship with your counterpart. You may not have a friendly relationship with your Ex but never allow them to come in between your kid’s relationship with parents. Parents need to communicate respectfully without showing many differences between them. Allow each parent to express and set rules for parenting when spending time with the child.
Top 7 things to do and 8 things not to do during co-parenting
Here is the list of the top 8 things you must reflect while Co-parenting the kids
Stick to practicality and allow practical sense to prevail instead of emotionally driven actions
Remain open and flexible with the schedule – Both parents need to accommodate the requests from kids
Listen & Stay kid-focused – Be in the shoes of your kids while dealing with them and giving them directions
Never use kids as messengers
Keep your issues to yourself – Respect your kid’s time to spend with each parent
Celebrate your kids’ success together and in the same tone
Show restraint & Practice empathy – Allow them to voice their feelings
This is what you should never do.
Don’t sabotage your child’s relationship with their other parent
Do not make your child choose sides or burden them with trash talk about the other parent
Don’t use your child to manipulate your ex
Do not immediately accuse your ex and start a fight
Never vent to your child. Get your feelings out somewhere else.
Do not dig up past hurts and arguments
Equal time to spend with the child – one parent should not control the other spend time with the child
Do not undermine or neglect the other parent’s authority with the child
Create a Standard Operational Rules between Parents and stick to it
Respect the idea that co-parents are equal in rights and authority as far as the child is concerned.
None of the parents to shun from their individual responsibilities of co-parenting by pushing it to the other.
Both parents should endeavor to bring in solidarity and friendliness that contribute to your child’s life and development.
Co-parents should not show disgust or even discuss the nature or reasons parents’ breakup or divorce as it is irrelevant to your children
The Bottom Line
It is not the divorce or separation that affects children during childhood, as they do not realize the proceedings of what happened. What affects them most is the continual and lingering conflict between the parents. Thankfully, it is in your control to lower the conflict, at least when you are co-parenting.